The small things – Getting ahead

The year is just in and days will roll over each other, then it’s December again. Don’t forget to celebrate your small wins as you daily go about achieving your dreams and visions. The small wins leads to the big victory.

No matter how small they are, they all add up. Setting deadlines, meeting goals, saving costs, saving time, innovative ideas, creative suggestions,taking notes, marking off checklist and so on. Trust me, they all add up.

Be proud to share your small wins at the end of the page and encourage someone else to be like you. Together for your success.

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When Life Happens..

two cyclist running on each other

Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU on Pexels.com

It is never a smooth journey.

Even when it looks beautiful on the outside. Life can and does happen to everyone.

Terminal illness diagnosed, Sudden death of a loved one or couple of loved ones, Divorce, Emotional abuse, Business failure, Financial difficulties, Court judgment, Children derail, Drug addiction, Domestic violence, Sexual abuse, Losing your home to the bank, Mental illness, Friends desertion, Family neglect and abandonment, Sudden feeling of inadequacy, Inability to cope…… (Any or more of these on your list yet?)

What do you do?

Never give up!

keep going! Keep living and keep dreaming, keep doing and remain unstoppable.  Remember it is a journey with ups and downs.  The downs will pass and you will rise again, only if you keep your vision of success in focus and keep WORKING towards it.

NEVER GIVE UP!  NEVER STOP LIVING! ONLY YOU HOLD THE KEY! #YHTK

Times & Life

I am still basking in the euphoria of the royal wedding conducted in England between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at the weekend.

person holding flowers

Photo by i love simple beyond on Pexels.com

Being a mother, my attention was on Meghan’s mum – Doria Ragland.  I think of what she may have gone through all the days of her life leading up to the date of her daughter’s wedding to one of the most notable families of the world.

The lesson for me from both Meghan and her mum is that your past does not determine your future.  Being a divorcee, from a single parent household, of mixed race, an actress, from a different country, older than Harry, all the things that years ago would have been an absolute NO! NO! in the way of this relationship moving forward.  On the beautiful side of things, one can clearly see that Meghan herself is beauty personified both from within and without.

Her entire life through all the ups and downs has always been working towards goal achievement. Fulfilling  a purpose bigger than herself and because she was able to identify her personality from childhood, the ups and downs did not get her. She WON!

I celebrate the warm hearted, fun loving, free spirited Prince Harry himself for bringing diversity to the royal family. His name is firmly charted in the story of life.  Meghan’s mum today is no longer an obscure face in the background of women struggling through life.  The seeds of honor and dignity, love and care implanted in her child since childhood has come to harvest. It’s like living a dream.

Our knowledge of who we are is so vital in how far we get in life. Our past was just to shape our character for the challenges of the future. More like muscle building technique. Don’t let the past hold you down.  Rise and shine!

You hold the Key!! Congratulations once again to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Look At Your Hands …

As I sat across my teenage daughter at the dinning table, having a casual family time. I said “Please pass me that bottle beside you”. she did just that and handed me the bottle. I held the bottle in my hand and a minute later and said again “Please pass me that bottle beside you”. This time there was no bottle there because it was in my hand.  She looked at me strangely and smiled saying “Mummy, you already have it”.  I looked at my hand and said “I do”.

That same moment, even though my original intent was to look for trouble, the penny dropped for me. We were all born a total package, unique and different from one another. Equipped with what we need to survive and be successful in life. Gifts and talents in different variations, styles and degrees abound in each one of us.

Why then do we keep going back and praying amiss? God cannot give you anything more than He already packaged in you. You cannot add more water into a full bucket. The bucket is FULL.  .  The widow had a jar of oil in her hands,  she needed INSTRUCTION, FAITH and OBEDIENCE.

So just like my daughter could not give me what she did not have. God cannot give you what He no longer has for you. It is in you. Search yourself for your gifts and talents, that has been deposited in you since your creation and pray instead for wisdom and direction. So I say “Look at your hands and Pray rightly”

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

 

How well do you know your children?

I take a break from sharing my late friend’s post to write about something that touches my heart. Something I have found is a lifetime learning course.

As a parent of three lovely teenagers, I find that I often expect them to behave in same manner as children of the same household, raised with same values, certain expectation of variances as a result of individual personalities. However, I recently realize that I have fallen into the same trap as my dad. Something which I vowed to watch out for, never to do to my kids.

I have great desire for them all to be successful, and I am doing my bit as a parent the best way to push them to excel in their academics. I focus on individual strengths and passion. My dad made the mistake of pushing me to be a science student when clearly there was no atom or chemical inclination in my bones or brains, save for whatever was keeping me alive. I rebelled and became my own person, making my choices and vowing to let my children be themselves, working in their own strengths and not my desire of a career path for them.

My emphasis however was the basic education as a starting point. Recently, I find myself at a wall until I had an eye opening session two days ago. My youngest, who I push the most and find a bit more laid back than his siblings, is very artistic.  He came home with an art assignment and I watched him as he was so devoted and focused, listening to his music in the background and working away with such peace and passion, that I was always looking for in his other subjects. I kept cooking as he continued working at the kitchen table.

The next morning, the answer dropped in the shower (where I get most of my revelations). The eldest is a verbal learner, the second a logical learner and the youngest a visual learner.  He is a different person in himself, total and complete.  What he needs to be able to be who he needs to be is fully in him. The patience required in an artist cannot be expected in a media person. Why then have I placed such an expectation and burden in pressuring my child?

Ignorance! Since I realized this, I have taken a back step. I am positively encouraging and avoiding criticism, yet building confidence and a sense of can do in my child. I have done a bit of research as well and found affirmation of my conviction. I include the link to help others who may be in similar shoes, just to create awareness of the importance of knowing our children for who they are and how to be better parents to get them to their place of success. The one thing we do not need is frustrating them which can lead to low moral esteem, frustration, depression and in extreme cases suicide.

Here, also are some questions you can do as a family game to better find out about your children and reverse same for them to find out more about you. A very positive  and memorable family time activity guaranteed to improve communication.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

 

 

Having Done All

As teenagers back then in school, we were only four girls in a class of less than thirty.  It took me time to actually know she was in my class.  I see her always immaculately dressed, colour co-ordinated, smart and beautiful. Figure, style, makeup, she was always on point. It did not matter if it was formal or casual.  She was always radiant.

But I hardly see her in any of the classes. Always on one mission on the other. I found it shocking when she settled in school that she was actually very intelligent. I used to think then, if only she could settle herself to her studies.  But with years, and particularly with her life, I have learnt that, if your destiny is decreed to shine like the stars, nothing and no one under heaven or earth can stop that. If you shine negatively or positively, will not change the fact that – shine you must!

Talking about experiencing life, her life fits into it all. Every woman will find themselves in some part of her life. Strong, weak, married, single, sexual abuse, single parenting, rich, poor, public profile, business management, ministry, social life, celebrity lifestyle, mental illness, terminal illness, preparing to die, giving back to society.  Bimpe did not only experience all these, but willing to share her life with the world.  We do not always have to go through the school of hard knocks, but learning from other people’s experiences is a wiser way to live.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Photo credit: Hindi.Santabanta.com

Appointment with Destiny (5)

Finally, I conclude on Danielle’s story by sharing the rest of her interview with you today. Please read on.

Have you found your passions are changing, as you grow older?

 I think it has peaked because I don’t think it can change much more.  It has changed a lot in the last ten years, drastically since I got married. I now have a defined purpose and a lot of maturity.  Also, we both plan to retire at the age of fifty, at the very latest.  Then we can team up with some charitable organizations and go to underdeveloped places and work on voluntary basis.  At the moment, the children are encouraged as we have them linked to a Ministry sponsoring a child each.

Can you remember a time when you weren’t living your passion and how that impacted your life? How was your success?

When I was doing Paediatrics, I thought Paediatrics was my passion but the turning point in my life was about six months before I got married.  I had dated my husband in Nigeria, and then he had received a word from God that I was his wife and he was convinced about this.  We went on a 40day prayer and fasting, at the end of which I came back to tell him I did not hear a thing! I was comfortable for us to be friends and date however after I came over to the Uk, I lost interest in the relationship.  He, on the other hand, could not move on, because he was convinced he heard a Word from God and he is not the type to waiver or be double minded.

 I got into another relationship later and was preparing for my traditional wedding, with guests already invited. Then, I heard clearly in my spirit that I was making a big mistake.  So I broke off the relationship.  But when he (my husband) heard I was getting married to someone else, he still held on and was still seeking God’s face for asking for a double conviction so he could move on with his life.  I was not in touch with him at this stage.

 Several months after my other relationship broke up, through what I can only describe as a miracle, we got linked up again. I went praying to God and was very honest and open before God: I told God I wasn’t in love with him and also because my husband is only six days older than me, I felt he was immature and I could not submit to him. God clearly spoke to me and said ‘I will teach you how to love him and I will teach you submission.” God also spoke these words clearly to my spirit ‘The man you see today is not the man he will become’ that was enough reassurance for me and I agreed to marry Tunde.

 On my wedding day, I got to the church one hour before the service was due to start. People tried keeping me in the car saying it was not right for the bride to be ahead of the groom, but that was just a cultural opinion. I told them I had an appointment with God and I was not going to be late.  I was that convinced and I have never been that convinced about any other decision in my life.  My husband wept like a baby during the service because he was simply overwhelmed by the Power of God to perform His Word. On the other hand I stood there beaming from ear to ear! If I quarrel with my husband, and it’s not resolved soon, my day will be completely ruined and the same goes for him.  Once I quarreled with him, I was destabilized so much so I crashed the car.

 My life prior to meeting my husband definitely was living outside of my passion, because my passion is tied to the life I have with him, sharing same goals, same vision and same passion. 

Why do you think most people give up on their dreams? What is your advice to those who have?

A lot of people do not seek God’s face. Was it your plan or God’s plan?  Walking in God’s plan requires standing in faith.  Delay does not mean denial.  If God shows you the big picture, what then do you need faith for?  But God wants you to trust him in every step. Little faith steps leads to the bigger picture for us.  There was a time when God gave us Psalm 37 for our break through.  We were attacked on our business and we had a choice of giving up on our business or hanging on to his word for us.  We carried on because we heard from God as a result of which, when our victory came, we were in the papers with two awards granted within one week of our opening up at a different location.  You have to find a word from God.  Even when it came to child bearing, I remember my husband praying if the children are not going to serve God, then close my wife’s womb. 

 My advice to those who have given up on their dreams will be, to go back and seek God’s face for clarity before proceeding and once you know what cause to follow, do not delay.

 What major life lessons have you learnt?

 Cleaving to God and cleaving to one another is the success of a good marriage.

Imagine you were to address a group of people who have hired you to make their life the most successful it can be, what questions would you ask them to ask themselves to realize their dreams?

What is your relationship with God?  This is because life without God is a hard life and for me God is a shortcut to success.  I cannot isolate God out of the picture and so I can only advice based on my experience, and it is centered on God.  My progress since the last 10 years has been exponential.

What legacies do you have or plan to leave behind?

  • Legacy of faith.
  • Legacy of a marriage, that works. – enjoying your marriage. I mean enjoying everyday life because for me I come home and I feel like, I have entered paradise.

How would you want to be remembered when you are done and gone?

A person who loved, and served God and enjoyed it.

Now you have read someone else’s account of her life. I challenge you as a woman or man reading this, to look beyond your present position, hurt, pain or disappointments that you may have experienced in life and start today, to take stock of what you have as a person. Your personality, gifts, resources – mental, physical and emotional to consolidate them to making a positive and permanent change in your life, to become a better and fulfilled person.  Experiencing the joy, that comes with helping people especially those who cannot pay you back.

I would love to hear how this has affected you and your immediate circle of influence.  Please share your experience and comment below. Also share  my posts with your friends and family, you never know whose life will be changing next.

 

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B