Tag Archives: Decision Making

Stumbling Blocks

In the beginning of the year, I decided I was going to expand my sphere of influence by empowering a few good women.  For me, this was part of my purposeful journey for the year.  Part of this mission involved daily messages and sharing of learning resources to propel us all to the next level.  It required commitment and consistency.  The foundational principle of which was gratitude being your daily attitude to delivering your visualized dreams on a regular basis.

On one of the days, I received some shocking news. Easily I could have crumbled but I had to carry on answering messages, delivering speeches, holding myself up and forging on.  My reaction brought back the memory of a young girl who got an ambassadorial role for a renowned charity, as a result of winning a pageant.  A huge responsibility as you would know. 

On one such occasion, she had to deliver a speech to a group of younger girls in a leadership empowerment forum.  She arrived unusually late, almost towards the end of the event.  She delivered an awesome motivating speech to the girls and when leaving called me aside to apologize for her lateness. Her excuse; her family lost their home five days ago and she had been living  between friend’s sofa’s from her suitcase and in different shelters, not knowing where she will be sleeping from night to night, as they struggled to find an alternative place in a city suffering from housing crisis.  She had to go to work and an audition on the same day before eventually showing up at the event.

Her message delivered to the girls took on a new meaning for me as she told them “if you are asked to do something and it resonates with you, just say yes” even if you don’t know how to do it, you will learn later. But saying yes, opens doors for you that you never would have imagined.

What she scaled and I scaled to show up to our audience is called stumbling blocks.  What is standing in your way from achieving your goal today.  Identify your stumbling block and scale it like an accomplished athlete.  Stumbling blocks can be external or internal.  It can show up in the form of family, friend, work, finances, procrastination, rejection or anything meaningful or meaning less.

Whatever it may be, it will not last and it will pass.  Handle it like the professional that you are and move on to your next level. Remember in all of this that you are in the driver’s seat of your life and you firmly hold the key.

The small things – Getting ahead

The year is just in and days will roll over each other, then it’s December again. Don’t forget to celebrate your small wins as you daily go about achieving your dreams and visions. The small wins leads to the big victory.

No matter how small they are, they all add up. Setting deadlines, meeting goals, saving costs, saving time, innovative ideas, creative suggestions,taking notes, marking off checklist and so on. Trust me, they all add up.

Be proud to share your small wins at the end of the page and encourage someone else to be like you. Together for your success.

When Life Happens..

two cyclist running on each other
Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU on Pexels.com

It is never a smooth journey.

Even when it looks beautiful on the outside. Life can and does happen to everyone.

Terminal illness diagnosed, Sudden death of a loved one or couple of loved ones, Divorce, Emotional abuse, Business failure, Financial difficulties, Court judgment, Children derail, Drug addiction, Domestic violence, Sexual abuse, Losing your home to the bank, Mental illness, Friends desertion, Family neglect and abandonment, Sudden feeling of inadequacy, Inability to cope…… (Any or more of these on your list yet?)

What do you do?

Never give up!

keep going! Keep living and keep dreaming, keep doing and remain unstoppable.  Remember it is a journey with ups and downs.  The downs will pass and you will rise again, only if you keep your vision of success in focus and keep WORKING towards it.

NEVER GIVE UP!  NEVER STOP LIVING! ONLY YOU HOLD THE KEY! #YHTK

Look At Your Hands …

As I sat across my teenage daughter at the dinning table, having a casual family time. I said “Please pass me that bottle beside you”. she did just that and handed me the bottle. I held the bottle in my hand and a minute later and said again “Please pass me that bottle beside you”. This time there was no bottle there because it was in my hand.  She looked at me strangely and smiled saying “Mummy, you already have it”.  I looked at my hand and said “I do”.

That same moment, even though my original intent was to look for trouble, the penny dropped for me. We were all born a total package, unique and different from one another. Equipped with what we need to survive and be successful in life. Gifts and talents in different variations, styles and degrees abound in each one of us.

Why then do we keep going back and praying amiss? God cannot give you anything more than He already packaged in you. You cannot add more water into a full bucket. The bucket is FULL.  .  The widow had a jar of oil in her hands,  she needed INSTRUCTION, FAITH and OBEDIENCE.

So just like my daughter could not give me what she did not have. God cannot give you what He no longer has for you. It is in you. Search yourself for your gifts and talents, that has been deposited in you since your creation and pray instead for wisdom and direction. So I say “Look at your hands and Pray rightly”

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

 

How well do you know your children?

I take a break from sharing my late friend’s post to write about something that touches my heart. Something I have found is a lifetime learning course.

As a parent of three lovely teenagers, I find that I often expect them to behave in same manner as children of the same household, raised with same values, certain expectation of variances as a result of individual personalities. However, I recently realize that I have fallen into the same trap as my dad. Something which I vowed to watch out for, never to do to my kids.

I have great desire for them all to be successful, and I am doing my bit as a parent the best way to push them to excel in their academics. I focus on individual strengths and passion. My dad made the mistake of pushing me to be a science student when clearly there was no atom or chemical inclination in my bones or brains, save for whatever was keeping me alive. I rebelled and became my own person, making my choices and vowing to let my children be themselves, working in their own strengths and not my desire of a career path for them.

My emphasis however was the basic education as a starting point. Recently, I find myself at a wall until I had an eye opening session two days ago. My youngest, who I push the most and find a bit more laid back than his siblings, is very artistic.  He came home with an art assignment and I watched him as he was so devoted and focused, listening to his music in the background and working away with such peace and passion, that I was always looking for in his other subjects. I kept cooking as he continued working at the kitchen table.

The next morning, the answer dropped in the shower (where I get most of my revelations). The eldest is a verbal learner, the second a logical learner and the youngest a visual learner.  He is a different person in himself, total and complete.  What he needs to be able to be who he needs to be is fully in him. The patience required in an artist cannot be expected in a media person. Why then have I placed such an expectation and burden in pressuring my child?

Ignorance! Since I realized this, I have taken a back step. I am positively encouraging and avoiding criticism, yet building confidence and a sense of can do in my child. I have done a bit of research as well and found affirmation of my conviction. I include the link to help others who may be in similar shoes, just to create awareness of the importance of knowing our children for who they are and how to be better parents to get them to their place of success. The one thing we do not need is frustrating them which can lead to low moral esteem, frustration, depression and in extreme cases suicide.

Here, also are some questions you can do as a family game to better find out about your children and reverse same for them to find out more about you. A very positive  and memorable family time activity guaranteed to improve communication.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

 

 

Metamorphosis contd

Like many ladies out there, I was full of life. BEAUTIFUL, HOT & SPICY. HIGH FLYING, BUSINESS MINDED AND HIGHLY CONNECTED.

I longed to be married on parental and traditional pressure. My parents felt age was no longer on my side. Friends were getting married with children. I eventually fell for the push, I began to crave, and the man that walked into my life I received undoubtedly as the suitor. As traditional of my Christian background, the pastors prayed about it, and prophesied great future with the man. PROPHECIES DON’T HOLD MARRIAGE!

My father (now late), being a pastor serving at Christ Apostolic Church was happy at the fact that his father was a pastor, and his mother a deaconess. My mother was quite resentful because he was an origin of Abeokuta, Egba in Ogun State Nigeria (different tribes within Nigeria). She told me horrifying stories of how marriages of Ekiti/Ijesha indigenes to Egba people often end in chaos; the women’s virtues being used in rituals, some going mad, some dying mysteriously, because of the Egbas have roots in occultism and voodoo practices.

I convinced her of my proposed husband’s parental status in the church. She was not quite pleased, but she reluctantly gave her blessings, moreover that the man appeared cool and calm. We eventually got the ball rolling. I was there …but without understanding of marriage as an institution.

YES: I saw things for myself, but my experiences humbled me to acknowledging God for who He is, and worked my transformation to who I am today in Christ. HALLELLUYA!!!!!!!!!!.

Nevertheless, I have met scores of fantastic Abeokuta/Egba indigenes who have touched my life in various wonderful capacities. I realise, it’s not about your spouse’s town of origin, but about the lifestyle he/she chooses to live.

I have shared this today to warn someone that is about to get hooked to another, in the fear of getting old and still unmarried. God alone determines the appointed time with destiny. NEVER ALLOW FEELINGS OF GETTING TOO OLD IN UNMARRIED STATUS PUSH YOU INTO HELL OF MARRIAGE.
Marriage is good, and you will be fulfilled in it when you contract it in right mind set and conscience. Do not make yourself a victim of circumstance; you are beautifully and wonderfully made, irrespective of age. The right person will cross your path if you are in the right path.

I call mine a dead marriage because it was so before it was contracted. BE WARNED; Many men and women are out there seeking partners to sacrifice in the occult, the moment they achieve their purpose, they go and re-marry without looking back irrespective of the dozens of children you have in that marriage.  CHILDREN ARE NOT A GUARANTEE TO HOLD YOUR MARRIAGE WHEN IT IS TIME TO SCATTER!

YOU DONT HAVE TO BELIEVE MY STORY, BUT BUY THE WISDOM BY IT …IN YOUR DESIRE TO BE MARRIED, DONT FALL A VICTIM. I ESCAPED BY GRACE!

 

Lessons from Late Bimpe Oluwayose Sorinolu

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Having Done All

As teenagers back then in school, we were only four girls in a class of less than thirty.  It took me time to actually know she was in my class.  I see her always immaculately dressed, colour co-ordinated, smart and beautiful. Figure, style, makeup, she was always on point. It did not matter if it was formal or casual.  She was always radiant.

But I hardly see her in any of the classes. Always on one mission on the other. I found it shocking when she settled in school that she was actually very intelligent. I used to think then, if only she could settle herself to her studies.  But with years, and particularly with her life, I have learnt that, if your destiny is decreed to shine like the stars, nothing and no one under heaven or earth can stop that. If you shine negatively or positively, will not change the fact that – shine you must!

Talking about experiencing life, her life fits into it all. Every woman will find themselves in some part of her life. Strong, weak, married, single, sexual abuse, single parenting, rich, poor, public profile, business management, ministry, social life, celebrity lifestyle, mental illness, terminal illness, preparing to die, giving back to society.  Bimpe did not only experience all these, but willing to share her life with the world.  We do not always have to go through the school of hard knocks, but learning from other people’s experiences is a wiser way to live.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Photo credit: Hindi.Santabanta.com