Category Archives: Social Responsibility

Becoming debt free

Pick up the phone and talk to someone

I recall my days as a customer service agent for a utility company. It was in the peak of the recession in Ireland and we were meant to be advising on why the bills are higher, why customers were getting disconnected or going on a different plan. It used to reap my heart out to listen to people crying on the phone and asking me how they were supposed to explain no electricity to their children who is writing the leaving certificate.

Racking up arrears in bills and debts is something that can happen to anyone. If your stream of income is cut off or reduced without backup, or unexpected illness affecting your ability to work with no insurance, or company relocation or business winding up suddenly. My point is nobody opts willingly to be in a negative situation.

But when it happens, it simply has to be dealt with. Burying your head in the sand and wishing it will go away is not a solution. Neither is ignoring the calls of your creditors. I know and can tell from my past experience that this style never works.

If you find yourself in arrears or struggling to keep up with your bills, your best solution is to call the company and explain your situation. Sometimes, they have options in place for cases such as yours. Call up and explain, go into payment arrangement to split the bill into manageable portions. If for some reason, you are not able to catch up still, think of rolling over the outstanding balance with the incoming bill and refresh your payment arrangement. Make sure to be chipping at the arrears, no matter how little.

Note one thing for certain, your creditors need you. They need you to be in good health physically and financially, so that you can pay them what you owe. They need you to be back on your feet so you come back a better customer. They need you as a customer as it saves them the additional cost of replacing you as a customer. You also need them to stay in business so they can continue to deliver the service to you.

Being in debt is not the end of life. It can be a season if you are proactive to snap out of it and keep communicating and continuously reducing it no matter how small. The same way little savings here and there can quickly build a wealthy nest, so does little debts here and there can eventually land you on the street with no shirt on your back.

Be wise! After all #YHTK

euuhh! That is disgusting!

Euhh! Yuck!

I am probably ranting as opposed to writing with this post today! It is so annoying the way people show case their ignorance and lack of basic manners in expressing their dislike for anything that is foreign to their everyday experience.

Show someone a cultural experience or ask them to taste a spicy dish that is uncommon to their everyday experience, and they come up with “that is horrible” or “that is disgusting”.

When will people learn to understand that the horrible or disgusting experience is personal to them alone. If one person out of every hundred in the world can enjoy a thing, then there is nothing wrong with the activity or product or thing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in saying “I don’t like it “. or “I find it not to my taste”. That is still a true expression of your feeling.

Learning to express your experience as personal to you is basic manners rather than showing absolute lack of grace. Simple ways of expressing your experience can be:

  • Sorry, It is not my thing. (Your facial expression will automatically tell the story)
  • I don’t like it or that is different (For more cultured people who are conscious about other people’s awareness).
  • I find it disgusting or I find it horrible (For people that really want to express the extent of their intolerance. Your personification of your FIND experience shows your feelings).

Some people think it is posh to knock other cultural experiences by saying “it is disgusting or it is horrible”, without realizing they are the one’s being pitied by their sheer display of lack of grace.

It is also a reflection of people who blame others for their own short comings and who fail to take responsibility for their actions.

If you belong to that category, check yourself. Respect and tolerance should be evident in all that we say and do.

All in all, the onus lies on us as change agents to raise our children with good manners, as a reflection of positive upbringing and understanding of equality and diversity in the society.

Also to comport ourselves in like manner. After all, children do what they see and not what they are told.

Rant concluded!

Remember! #YHTK. Only you, hold the key!

Who is Deji Adenuga?

Deji Adenuga, celebrating the historic moment when HIS wife became the first black woman to be elected into a county council in Ireland.

On the 27th of May 2019, the Republic of Ireland held both local and European elections. History was made in Ireland as a black woman was elected for the very first time to a county council in the name of Yemi Adenuga. Navan was once again made a historic point for Ireland.

The news went all over media and celebration was huge among the African and faith communities in Ireland. This is so because if you have met Yemi Adenuga and held conversation with her, you know without a shadow of doubt that she is a woman of faith and integrity. I recall a conversation where she stated clearly that her name is her integrity and she goes all out to protect it.

In the age where women are subtly emerging to be able to stand on equal platforms and deliver along side a man, it is without any shadow of doubt that Yemi has been nurtured and shielded with love by a man who definitely understands how to treat a woman.

Deji Adenuga, a well known Nigerian actor plays no game and is neither entertaining when it comes to showcasing real men. His support for the numerous causes and projects that his wife dabbles into is publicly unflinching. He does not see her as a threat, but rather as a star shining on the top of his crown. She bears HIS name and showcases his home. In his own words “I am the husband of a strong woman”. That, is a fact.

The first time I heard Deji Adenuga say that, I knew without any shadow of doubt, that this is a man who has no doubt about his identity. He knows the capabilities of his wife to be limitless and understands his role as her husband, was to help her burn her unlimited energy in motion in the most positive way, by impacting lives together for a fulfilled destiny globally.

As history was made in Ireland on the 27th of May 2019, I proudly stand in the light of well defined feminism to celebrate a STAND OUT man – Deji Adenuga, for knowing his identity as the head that propels the neck to lead the body into fullness of purpose. Lack of identity and understanding has been a key force in destroying many relationships, particularly within the African culture.

Deji Adenuga, you are today celebrated among men and women and this historic victory is clearly yours. On behalf of women struggling through different conditions for fulfillment in relationship, purpose, freedom and empowerment, and on behalf of men taking your victory as a learning curve for their own self improvement, I say “Thank you”.

Turn it around

Few years  ago working in a customer service office, my team leader trying to motivate his team used to say to us “Turn it around”. When a customer calls to complain, position yourself to turn the situation around so they go away with a happy story and a positive feedback for you and the company.

How then are we turning our personal weaknesses to strengths? Weaknesses are to be appreciated because they are indicators of where you can be a better version of you.  Weaknesses are only bad when nothing is done about them.  

Below are some personality weaknesses, find yours and be a better you. After all #YHTK

  • Impulsive
  • Shy
  • Passive
  • Unorganised
  • Closemindedness
  • Bossy
  • Timid
  • Fearful
  • Disruptive
  • Shortsightedness
  • Perfectionist
  • Stubborn
  • Zoning out to cuckoo land
  • Trouble maker
  • Behind the scenes gossip

The Cultural Apologists

pexels-photo-936007.jpeg

Growing up in Africa, in a cultural setting where you are raised to care and appreciate everything around you. To say please and thank you, and if you step on someone’s toes or someone hurts themselves around you, you say sorry. That is the norm for the yoruba tribe.  If you do not do these things, you are considered uncaring, rude or badly raised.

In Europe, if you bump into someone in the workplace and ask “Are you alright?” job is done. If someone trips or hurts themselves around you, and you say sorry.  What you get next is, it is not your fault.

Some things are good in the right environment they are created for or where they are being used.  Habit of saying sorry turned me into apologizing all the time which is sometimes misconstrued as feeling guilty.  I am indeed guilty of not adapting my language into the society I have lived in for over a decade. I am guilty of being an apologist by cultural default.  Unfortunately, sometimes you get taken for granted because it appears I have pleaded guilty to a sin that was not even available to be committed.

I however do not apologize for who I am. This is because, I absolutely and totally love me, with all my faults and failings, with my body and bones and all that is me and so I share one of my favorite poems with you today and hope you love yourself as much as I do me.

I AM ME

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it – I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself – I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears – I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me – by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts – I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me – However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me – If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded – I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me – I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me – I am me and

I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.

Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.

 

And you hold the key!!

 

 

My Mistake

Every day I make mistakes. Sometimes in my thoughts, sometimes in my words and speeches and often times in my deeds.

I gave it a long thought and I concluded that as long as I am human, I will make mistake because I am not perfect.

Do I learn from my mistakes? Do I take ownership for my errors? Do I try and improve on my faults?  All these are the more important questions for my self development instead of the finger pointing and judgments with evil eyes that follow people when they fault.  Guess how many mistakes Thomas A Edison made before He succeeded.  In his words “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Now that is from Thomas Edison an incredibly successful inventor, scientist, and businessman, who accumulated 1,093 patents in his lifetime. I don’t know about you but I am going about my life doing things as best as I can, loving my mistakes and improving on me.

Having Done All

As teenagers back then in school, we were only four girls in a class of less than thirty.  It took me time to actually know she was in my class.  I see her always immaculately dressed, colour co-ordinated, smart and beautiful. Figure, style, makeup, she was always on point. It did not matter if it was formal or casual.  She was always radiant.

But I hardly see her in any of the classes. Always on one mission on the other. I found it shocking when she settled in school that she was actually very intelligent. I used to think then, if only she could settle herself to her studies.  But with years, and particularly with her life, I have learnt that, if your destiny is decreed to shine like the stars, nothing and no one under heaven or earth can stop that. If you shine negatively or positively, will not change the fact that – shine you must!

Talking about experiencing life, her life fits into it all. Every woman will find themselves in some part of her life. Strong, weak, married, single, sexual abuse, single parenting, rich, poor, public profile, business management, ministry, social life, celebrity lifestyle, mental illness, terminal illness, preparing to die, giving back to society.  Bimpe did not only experience all these, but willing to share her life with the world.  We do not always have to go through the school of hard knocks, but learning from other people’s experiences is a wiser way to live.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Photo credit: Hindi.Santabanta.com