Turn it around

Few years  ago working in a customer service office, my team leader trying to motivate his team used to say to us “Turn it around”. When a customer calls to complain, position yourself to turn the situation around so they go away with a happy story and a positive feedback for you and the company.

How then are we turning our personal weaknesses to strengths? Weaknesses are to be appreciated because they are indicators of where you can be a better version of you.  Weaknesses are only bad when nothing is done about them.  

Below are some personality weaknesses, find yours and be a better you. After all #YHTK

  • Impulsive
  • Shy
  • Passive
  • Unorganised
  • Closemindedness
  • Bossy
  • Timid
  • Fearful
  • Disruptive
  • Shortsightedness
  • Perfectionist
  • Stubborn
  • Zoning out to cuckoo land
  • Trouble maker
  • Behind the scenes gossip

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The Cultural Apologists

pexels-photo-936007.jpeg

Growing up in Africa, in a cultural setting where you are raised to care and appreciate everything around you. To say please and thank you, and if you step on someone’s toes or someone hurts themselves around you, you say sorry. That is the norm for the yoruba tribe.  If you do not do these things, you are considered uncaring, rude or badly raised.

In Europe, if you bump into someone in the workplace and ask “Are you alright?” job is done. If someone trips or hurts themselves around you, and you say sorry.  What you get next is, it is not your fault.

Some things are good in the right environment they are created for or where they are being used.  Habit of saying sorry turned me into apologizing all the time which is sometimes misconstrued as feeling guilty.  I am indeed guilty of not adapting my language into the society I have lived in for over a decade. I am guilty of being an apologist by cultural default.  Unfortunately, sometimes you get taken for granted because it appears I have pleaded guilty to a sin that was not even available to be committed.

I however do not apologize for who I am. This is because, I absolutely and totally love me, with all my faults and failings, with my body and bones and all that is me and so I share one of my favorite poems with you today and hope you love yourself as much as I do me.

I AM ME

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it – I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself – I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears – I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me – by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts – I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me – However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me – If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded – I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me – I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me – I am me and

I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.

Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.

 

And you hold the key!!

 

 

My Mistake

Every day I make mistakes. Sometimes in my thoughts, sometimes in my words and speeches and often times in my deeds.

I gave it a long thought and I concluded that as long as I am human, I will make mistake because I am not perfect.

Do I learn from my mistakes? Do I take ownership for my errors? Do I try and improve on my faults?  All these are the more important questions for my self development instead of the finger pointing and judgments with evil eyes that follow people when they fault.  Guess how many mistakes Thomas A Edison made before He succeeded.  In his words “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Now that is from Thomas Edison an incredibly successful inventor, scientist, and businessman, who accumulated 1,093 patents in his lifetime. I don’t know about you but I am going about my life doing things as best as I can, loving my mistakes and improving on me.

Having Done All

As teenagers back then in school, we were only four girls in a class of less than thirty.  It took me time to actually know she was in my class.  I see her always immaculately dressed, colour co-ordinated, smart and beautiful. Figure, style, makeup, she was always on point. It did not matter if it was formal or casual.  She was always radiant.

But I hardly see her in any of the classes. Always on one mission on the other. I found it shocking when she settled in school that she was actually very intelligent. I used to think then, if only she could settle herself to her studies.  But with years, and particularly with her life, I have learnt that, if your destiny is decreed to shine like the stars, nothing and no one under heaven or earth can stop that. If you shine negatively or positively, will not change the fact that – shine you must!

Talking about experiencing life, her life fits into it all. Every woman will find themselves in some part of her life. Strong, weak, married, single, sexual abuse, single parenting, rich, poor, public profile, business management, ministry, social life, celebrity lifestyle, mental illness, terminal illness, preparing to die, giving back to society.  Bimpe did not only experience all these, but willing to share her life with the world.  We do not always have to go through the school of hard knocks, but learning from other people’s experiences is a wiser way to live.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Photo credit: Hindi.Santabanta.com

Appointment with Destiny (3)

I would describe myself as an ordinary person who is easy to get along with. I have 4 main passions in life namely:

  1. God
  2. My husband
  3. My 2 boys
  4. Fitness/healthy living

The mandate upon my life is simply to be an exemplary wife and mother as I support my family in the call God has placed on our lives to be an example of a good Christian family.

I asked Danielle some of the same questions Janet Attwood from Healthy, Wealthy and Wise asked some inspirational leaders of our time, and here are her responses. My prayer, as you read this is that your faith level will increase, your divine purpose be clarified, and your determination to fulfill the call of God on your life, grow stronger with the dawn of each new day.

Questions

Who has been the most influential person in your life? The person who has most affected the person you are today?

 God

 What is your day like?

I wake up between 05.15am and 05.30am. I pray with my husband till about 06.00am,  then we  go downstairs together to make smoothie for the family. The kids usually wake up during this time and we send the kids to do their own prayer time, they come back and discuss what they have read with us and then we all go to the gym till about 07.15am, then get ready for school/work. If I am doing the school run we aim to leave home for about 7.50am and leave the school at 08.30am, get to work at about 08.45am.  I start work at 09.00am and try to finish at the latest at 06.30pm if I’m on-call and earlier if I’m not. We have dinner together as a family at about 06.45pm, (my husband usually would have picked the kids up, bathed them and done most of their homework) After dinner, we all clear up and then go upstairs and sit with the kids to find out about their day and finish homework and the kids go to  bed at 08.15pm – 08.30pm. Then I catch up with housework or chat with my husband and at 09.00pm, my husband and I will pray together, I go to bed after this or catch up on more work

What are the things that you just cannot do without?

 I cannot do without praying twice a day at the very least, smoothie daily and Gym (I try at least four times a week).  But my smoothie, not negotiable.

Would this be your priority no matter what else?

Yes. God first then smoothie – Anywhere in the world and if we do not have access to a smoothie maker, we substitute smoothie for fresh fruit. Thank God, you can take God anywhere!

 What is your current vocation?

I work as a General practitioner

What attracted you to your current vocation?

The flexibility that comes with it. I started training as a Pediatrician but found it was not family friendly and I had to decide what was more important to me -career or family? So I left Paediatrics before I got too deep in it.

What are you most concerned about?

To raise a Godly family and be a good example.

Why is that so important – how did that come up?

 It all began with a vision God gave us.  My husband’s name is Babatunde, we call him Baba (which in my language means father).  God revealed to him he will be a father of many nations just like Abraham and his generation being blessed.  We see ourselves in that Abrahamic line. Also like Priscilla and Aquilla who were mere church helpers.  We are convinced we have no pastoral calling or some high leadership role, but our calling is to be helpers.  To stir up and encourage other people’s visions and therefore we open our home for Church use for example hosting guest preachers, youth social events, home group or such needs as we can accommodate.  For this role, you need to live an exemplary life to be able to impact your community and that is what we do and why it is important to us.

(to be continued)

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Appointment with Destiny (2)

Below is a copy of the mail I sent to Danielle after interviewing her and her reply:

—–Original Message—–
From: Busola Shogbamimu
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 2010 14:15:38
Subject: re: remaining questions

Hi Dupe,

Honestly if I could open up my heart for you to see how much I have been blessed by your life tonight, I would.  Immediately I dropped the phone I had to call my friend Adeline to tell her I have just spoken to someone whose yardstick is longer.  I respect her values a lot and now you. wow!!

It is so clear you guys are perfectly matched. Adeline has a ministry here in Dublin and I am a very big supporter of her vision.  She has a mandate to relieve women that are hurting by showing practical love. Some of the groups dominant here are single women. If God wills, it will be a great honor to have you address them at an informal forum, so they know there is light for them along the way and not just at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks and thanks and thanks again Dupe.  Big respect to your husband for his love and obedience as a servant of God and a man after God’s own heart.

I attach the rest of the questions and do look forward to chatting with you very soon.

Much love

Busola Shogbamimu

Her reply:

Re: remaining questions

Moshola,
Again it was really good talking to you. At some stages I was beginning to think that it all sounded unreal. Infact I think this is the first time I’ve ever thought so deeply about my life and what has shaped me. For me, it actually makes me appreciate Tunde even more. Please, don’t get me wrong, he has his faults like anyone else and we sure do have our squabbles, but he is perfect for me and neither of us is ever too proud to say sorry. I think that is another valuable aspect of our relationship. It will be interesting to read your summary when you have collated all the info. My life/marriage is a testimony and I look forward to another 60yrs of marriage. Tunde and I have trusted God to live till we are 100. Considering we are both 40 in a few weeks, we’ve got plenty of time ahead. I could go on forever!! It’s a good thing we decided to do the rest of the questions by e-mail cos I’ll need to check the accounts to answer them. Hope to speak to u soon and I am glad to hear you feel encouraged. We serve an awesome God and he sure works if we stick to the straight and narrow.

Love Dupe

(to be continued……….. coming up, Meet Danielle Dupe Akomolafe)

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

Appointment with Destiny (1)

Unbreakable

Psalms 89:34 My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips. KJV

 Once I say it, then it comes to pass. I do not tempt or tease my children with false hopes or false promises. My Word has no equals in speed, accuracy, or power. There is no greater force in the universe than the words that come out of my mouth. It is the life of all mankind’s true existence. It destroys the vain life and it creates permanence for the transient, wandering soul. It calms the restless, satisfies the empty, and eliminates the recurring contentions of life. If I say it, I will do it. I cannot tell a lie, just like water cannot be dirt. I cannot be defeated, deceived, tempted, or diminished. No one has My wisdom, strength, or power. Those who claim it will always disappear. I have formed a partnership with you, and it will never be broken. We are one. What I have is yours. Use it to do good. Bless someone as I have blessed you.

Prophesy by Pastor Ivan Tait of “what matters ministries and missions” to his ministry partners and subscribers on 6th January 2010.

http://www.whatmattersmm.org

As I picked up the keyboard to send the invitation letter to be a contributor to this project, I was thinking to myself, it has been well over 11years since I spoke with her, will she have the time?, will she be willing? Then, something inside of me just said, “What do you have to lose?” Thanks to Facebook, I got her email address and sent it and there was no reply.  I left it for a couple of weeks, then I was talking to my sister one day and she said “I think Danielle mentioned receiving some questions from you”, immediately I finished with my sister on the phone, I went to my mail box and there she was online and I thought let’s do it.

When I called her, first thing I reminded her was one of my encounters with her when I was a teenager.  You see, Danielle was my older sister’s friend and once,  I had gone to see my sister at the university for the weekend. So, Danielle took me to the school theatre to watch a play. (She was being nice to her friend’s little sister), not wanting me to be bored. While we were at the theatre, she told me “Don’t be like your sister” and I laughed it off.  This is because my sister was a born again Christian, even when it was not cool to be so, and would be classed as boring.  Even I considered her boring then. But, she always stood her ground for what she believed in.  As I reminded Danielle of this age long advice, she was surprised and said “Wow! I said that?” and we both laughed it off. I have heard my sister and her husband talk about how Danielle and her husband were impacting on the lives of the youth in their community and making admirable success in their lives.  So, I thought, let me talk to her myself, and I definitely was not prepared for the blessings I got from conducting the interview.  Sometimes, you know what scripture says, yes it is head knowledge, yes you know you need to carry it out, but when you come in contact with people who are actually living it, that completely blows your mind away.

(to be continued)

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B