Attitude – Page 2 – Busola Shogbamimu

Becoming debt free

\"\" — Pick up the phone and talk to someone

I recall my days as a customer service agent for a utility company. It was in the peak of the recession in Ireland and we were meant to be advising on why the bills are higher, why customers were getting disconnected or going on a different plan. It used to reap my heart out to listen to people crying on the phone and asking me how they were supposed to explain no electricity to their children who is writing the leaving certificate.

Racking up arrears in bills and debts is something that can happen to anyone. If your stream of income is cut off or reduced without backup, or unexpected illness affecting your ability to work with no insurance, or company relocation or business winding up suddenly. My point is nobody opts willingly to be in a negative situation.

But when it happens, it simply has to be dealt with. Burying your head in the sand and wishing it will go away is not a solution. Neither is ignoring the calls of your creditors. I know and can tell from my past experience that this style never works.

If you find yourself in arrears or struggling to keep up with your bills, your best solution is to call the company and explain your situation. Sometimes, they have options in place for cases such as yours. Call up and explain, go into payment arrangement to split the bill into manageable portions. If for some reason, you are not able to catch up still, think of rolling over the outstanding balance with the incoming bill and refresh your payment arrangement. Make sure to be chipping at the arrears, no matter how little.

Note one thing for certain, your creditors need you. They need you to be in good health physically and financially, so that you can pay them what you owe. They need you to be back on your feet so you come back a better customer. They need you as a customer as it saves them the additional cost of replacing you as a customer. You also need them to stay in business so they can continue to deliver the service to you.

Being in debt is not the end of life. It can be a season if you are proactive to snap out of it and keep communicating and continuously reducing it no matter how small. The same way little savings here and there can quickly build a wealthy nest, so does little debts here and there can eventually land you on the street with no shirt on your back.

Be wise! After all #YHTK

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Sneak Peak

Busola

\"\" — Picture from celebritieswhogive.com

A beautiful and true quote I came across while working on my new book says \”Once you believe you can do something, there is not a single person in the universe who can convince you otherwise.\” – Germany Kent.

Now, for those who don\’t know. Germany Kent is an LA-based former award-winning college administrator and corporate executive, author, entrepreneur, turned successful Hollywood commercial actress, and media personality, She has interviewed Oscar, Emmy, Golden Globe, and Grammy-winning performers, this in addition to the other power-players, and news-makers. she has interviewed from across the globe. Germany has been featured in numerous print media. She has had a string of good luck with the Film/TV world, especially noting that she was hand-selected by J.J. Abrams to be featured in a STAR WARS movie. More importantly, she is an award winning global ambassador for hope.

Words like Germany\’s quote above cause deep reflections for me. For someone like Germany Kent to say something like that, you can tell it stems from a place of experience. This is evidenced in the vast diversity of roles, from academics, to media to business and more she had played in her life. For all the achievers you come across in life, it is because they believed in themselves. Some people believe in the universe to converge the forces of nature to make things happen for them and because of their belief, their expectations get fulfilled.

Some call it the law of attraction; others call it faith. Some call it affirmations; others call it confession or declarations. All in all it is working for everyone according to their belief system.

What I find striking with the above quote is the fact that it is amazingly true. It begs on the question of identity. If you know who you are, you will know what you are capable of doing, and as such your belief system automatically convinces you what you can and cannot do. If you have the resources to do it or not, it does not matter. Once you believe you can, no human being born or invented in the universe can convince you otherwise.

What is standing in the way of your belief? What do you think is stopping you from achieving your desired style of living. Please feel free to drop your thoughts in the comment below.

If you believe you can; you are right. If you believe you cannot; you are also right. I know #YHTK. So let\’s hear your thoughts.

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What is yours?

Busola

\"\" — Mine was finances and fulfilling purpose

The creatives in the house can attest to the fact that we are unstoppable when it comes to ideas generation. The entrepreneurs will agree that when you think profit and possibility, the music changes to \”let\’s go there\”. Being a creative serial entrepreneur, you find you are constantly on projects without end.

Couple of years ago, I did some soul searching and concluded that I must die empty. Share all my acquired skills and knowledge with as many people as I can, and make sure the grave does not get anything except for my carcass. To this end, I also became a donor carrying card and made sure my family are aware of what to do with my body in the event of my passing.

What brought this about was my finding out the number of unfulfilled talents and gifts that people end up taking to the grave because of fear of venturing out, fear of what people would say, what if it does not work, and many other inconsequential reasons that have no roots or foundation.

I discovered my fear was not being able to fulfill my purpose in life and not having finances to carry out my actions in fulfilling purpose. I did an overall self check and concluded that if others can, so can I. My action plan I will be sharing in detail at some stage. But first, I selected my desired date for an early retirement, embarked on a couple of self development courses, invested myself in multiple streams of income and committed myself to service to help others see the possibility of what is achievable if you believe.

As a serial entrepreneur, I have enjoyed both sides of the fence. When it was very good and when it was very bad. Including having to file for bankruptcy at some stage and coming out of it on the brighter side, starting afresh and stronger. How did I get myself there? How did I get myself out? and How did I start all over to being on the winning side? (Stories for another day).

What do you think is holding you back from becoming your dream self? What do you think is the stop between you and your self in achieving your desired level success? You think you are too old to go after your dreams? Or you think you are too young to start? Age? Finances? You think the resources are not available to get you started? You will be amazed at what you have and can do, when you think deep enough.

Where do you need help getting fulfilled? Is it in finding your purpose or fulfilling it? Or having the support network or family to get you there? There are different reasons for different people. I have shared mine with you. Mine was finances and fulfilling purpose. What is yours? Drop your thoughts on your fears and stumbling blocks in the comment below. A problem shared is a problem half solved.

Above all, remember always that #YHTK

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My Narrative

Busola

People close to me know very well that I am a strong advocate of early retirement. Each time I mention early retirement among people my age, the reaction is always the same. It comes in the form of brows going up, a bit of a frown and a singular thought saying \”Really?\”.

We were raised to go to school, study hard and achieve but were not told that the world of work consumes your life till you die, if you don\’t learn to break from it and learn to live. Understanding the very essence of living successfully has propelled me in recent years to make certain choices to change my narrative.

Like you, I grew up with a desire to be successful. Like some others or you, I got an education in a field that was contrary to my passion. Like you or some others, I find myself trying to live my passion and working myself to the bone. But, when I realized that my definition of being successful as a young one was warped and discovered that being successful by me was only defined by MY standards and not society, then my reality began to change.

I embarked on a journey of self discovery. I found success was on a parallel scale of balance in my chosen areas of life. I found purpose and the desire to be the change I wanted to see. I found value in people and not in things. I found the ability to create my chosen path of life lies within me and above all, I discovered the ability to manifest my chosen path. The rest became stories.

My narrative changed from being a grafter to fulfilling purpose. My narrative changed from what people say about me while I am alive but also to what will be said when I am gone. My narrative changed from striving to contentment. I am an advocate of early retirement and ways to work towards its achievement because of my journey this far, and because of the vast majority of people still chasing bubbles on the high way on a daily basis, wondering \”How do I get out of this?\”

There are loads of narratives out there in the world today such as:

A grafter – A grafter is a hard worker. Works 2 or more jobs, Does nothing but graft no social life. (Ref: Urban dictionary)
A die hard – Someone who is willing to do anything for a cause or a goal. (Ref: Urban dictionary)
Basic – Calling someone Basic is essentially calling them predictable or unoriginal. You\’re saying they blindly follow trends and have no individuality or style of their own. (Ref: Dictionary.com)
Extra – You know what it means when you call someone too much right? You mean to say they’re “excessively good or bad,” or that they’re prodigious or overwhelming. Well, there’s too much, and then there’s extra. (Ref: Dictionary.com)

While there are many more descriptive words that tells what we spend our lives doing, it is up to us to make our days count and our lives meaningful. I have shared my narrative with you. What is your current narrative and what do you hope to change yours to? Drop your thoughts in the comment below. Let\’s get the dreams moving together. After all #YHTK and it\’s never too late or too soon to start!

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Expectations & Roles

Busola

\"\" — Could this be you or another AI style?

It is 100% crazy how society places demands on us based on gender, culture, background, appearances and whatever it wakes up to and we like puppets conform to those roles and struggle to live up to those expectations, sometimes without questioning the basis of such demands because it has been accepted as norm.

What is normality at the end of the day?

Years not too long ago, men were supposed to be the bread winner while the woman is the home maker and then comes demand on the boy child to be a \”MAN\” and the girl child to be submissive and answerable to the \”MAN\” who is the breadwinner. The poor boy then begins the race of chasing money making ventures that will pay the bills, put food on the table, clothe the family and God help his blessed life if the wife is a demanding one that checks out the life with the \”Joneses\”

The girl on the other hand must make sure food is available for the man when he comes home from hard work, his clothes clean and ironed, the house clean and spotless and the kids fed and decent.

What happened to individuality?

Because of the expectation from society, we become like robots conformed to roles that were shaped for us and some forget what it was like to have a dream, to run with your dream. Some never experience the joy of seeing visions become reality. Some gaze into the night sky daily watching their dreams die a daily death, some stopped dreaming while others daily chant \”if only\”.

Know this for a fact, you can never be completely happy if you continue to live according to other people\’s expectations of you. Sometimes what is expected of you is what you want and the role you are playing is what has been designed for you. Other times, you are just fulfilling obligations like a pre-programmed robot with no thought for itself but what was punched or drummed in.

Start checking yourself against your current role and expectation. Don\’t end up as another asset in the grave yard. Live your life fulfilled and impact others with the good in you. Make a difference and be the difference you want to make. Life is too short to live AI style when you are a total package and breathing human blessing.

After all #YHTK

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It\’s not December

Busola

No, it\’s not December but it is time to take stock and determine what needs keeping and what goes in the bin. Not all relationships are beneficial and not all relationships are toxic. There are some people in your life who are taking up space when they should not be in your life in the first place. There are places in other people\’s life where you are taking up space and you really should be at the door marked EXIT.

What value do you bring to the table in your relationships? I remember a very dear friend of my sister who added the term \”Salt\” to her name. She made a point of being a seasoning spot to people that cross her path. She is a blessing and encouraging others to be a blessing even through a single meeting or message.

In the same manner, I worked with a girl who willfully makes up defamable stories behind people\’s back about everyone to cover her own inadequacies while claiming love and sisterhood to the outside world. A pure judas style relationship. Clearly relationships mean nothing but word of mouth to such a person and the value of her relationship with her work colleague is determined by her choice of knife when she stabs them in the back to save her face.

It\’s not December I repeat, relationship stock take should be done periodically and not only at the end of the year. How are you adding value to the people in your own life? Where are you being taken for granted? Where have you left your dignity on the floor to be trampled on? Who have you constituted yourself as a nuisance in their lives? Do you need to exit, review or amend?

The essence of stock taking is to ascertain worth. What value do you place on yourself and the relationships you have. Time to think and evaluate. After all, #YHTK.

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Beyond your nose

Busola

\"\" — It\’s within your reach if you look well enough.

I had a conversation with my son recently about his plans for the future and clearly his answer as a young adult is exactly what I hear a lot of people say about starting out. Planning for success is simply daunting. The conversation for me as a parent trying to encourage my \”baby\” to move beyond fear, was more enlightening than I imagined.

Often times when we look at starting a project, business, relationship etc, the resources we need are foremost the imaginary stumbling blocks. This is more so especially when it is a capital intensive project and credit rating is not in your favour. The big needs often stand in front of our dreams blocking out the resources we currently hold that can work out the big needs.

Some of the resources we ignore and can leverage are human capital, contact list, support network, skills leverage – getting someone to do what you need in exchange of services they need and you are capable of doing for them or even linking them with someone you know who can.

What is most important in executing our long term plan is what we know already but need to be reminded of every time. Start from the exact spot you are. Start from your comfort zone and let your dreams carry you, manifesting into a workable business plan. Leverage your people, your network, your skills and all resources at your disposal. Make sure you do something daily and mindfully towards your success.

It\’s not always about money. Look beyond your nose. Think outside the box and go achieve your dreams. For foodies like me, I say turn that loaf of bread into a sliced pan and work at having a toast a day. After all, #YHTK

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Closer Look

Busola

Take a close look at your life today. Despite all the challenges, difficulties and so-called failures, you are still here. You are still forging ahead, still trudging along. It is sometimes difficult to see the bright side of life when all that surrounds you is distraction, struggles, complications and tight schedules.

Have you taken a closer look at your achievements recently and see all the trophies you left on the side walk. Have you seen the victories you won at work that was not recognized? The excellent contribution to the family that everyone took for granted as your job or the keeping it all together for the friends in confidence, advise and guidance that was taken for granted.

Stop for 5 mins today to take a good look at you and appreciate the lines on your face, the hardness of your hands, the sweat on your brow, the heaviness of your sighs and for goodness sake show yourself some love that you truly deserve. You are doing a great job and it will come together in time. Love yourself as you go and let yourself tell yourself that \”YOU, are doing a good job!\”

After all, #YHTK and you have a lot more to be thankful for.

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Become a life designer

Busola

Be the architect of your own destiny. If others can, so can you!

I used to think it was a bit exaggerated to live life just the way you want it, that you can really have all that you want. But, recently I have moved away from cynicism to become a believer and also concluded that understanding your role in life is vital to becoming your best version of yourself.

Think about it, if you don\’t know your current location or have the address of where you are going, of what use is google maps to you? You need to know yourself – Identity. Know who you are, likes, dislikes, passions, gifts, capacity. That is your current location.

You also need to know what you want from life, who you want to be, what you need to discard, what you need to adopt, how you want to be known or seen, what you want to deliver as a sign of being on this planet, who you want to identify with etc. That is your destination address.

The designing tool – Your personal life google map is found within yourself. You were created to be a creator in the image of who created you. All that you need to be you in within you. However, you need to learn to harness it and bring it forth. Some people call it the power of faith and others call it the law of attraction.

As far as I am concerned, you can give it whatever name that will help you be the best version of you. I am sharing Helene Hadsell\’s video of her SPEC method of getting what you want from life with the hope of you joining the group of very few people who have hacked the secret of faith.

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Panic Paralysis

Busola

Articulate hesitation is better than inarticulate certainty.

Like you and many others, I am on a race against time. I have set deadlines to achieve certain goals in my life and I know I will achieve them. However, because there is so much calling my attention, I am sometimes caught up in distractions here and there. What I have learnt though is that the distractions stop me in my tracks, I back track a bit and then I start to think of time lost.

Then I sometimes panic. (Not good at all). I don\’t know about you but once I panic, I become confused, disoriented and paralysed with inactivity. I once shared one of such experiences with my sister and she likened my brain to the computer, with many windows opened. After a while if it is still working, the processes slows down and if unable to slow down, sometimes freezes, then ultimately crashes!

Our human body is the same, just like the computer and the brain, everything needs a break. If we keep working on high speed roll without sensible break, the body will shut down in phases. So, sleep is essential, balance is important, break is inevitable.

It\’s a new week, fresh targets and goals to be accomplished by Friday and some by the end of each day. Don\’t panic, if you want the goals achieved. Learn to stay calm, step back and restrategize your action plans in a more focused manner. You get more done with a clear head than in a panic form where nothing is moving.

Worry and stress has not achieved much for me so far in life and I am sure same goes for you. I implore you to join me this week as we work through a calm, refreshing focus on our live goals, while stopping to smell the roses, watch a movie, treat yourself, pat yourself on the back with the small wins, catch up with friends and family. Life is to be enjoyed daily and not endured.

Real success comes with mindfulness of your actions and articulated rest is indispensable to the human body.

From my heart I wish you a brilliant new week in every form, after all #YHTK.

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