Busola – Busola Shogbamimu

Power of Yes!

Some people are experts at saying NO and do so at their own peril, while some say yes even to their own detriment. When and how then can we strike the balance. I remember writing the story of a dedicated young lady, who was invited to speak at a leadership conference and turned up very late. The program was juggled around to the point of almost eliminating her role and then she came. She apologised profusely and was given the chance to do her talk as soon as the opportunity came.

She went on to tell the younger girls in attendance about saying yes to the call of duty. She gave a speech that shared her life story of saying Yes to a beauty pageant and she won. This in turn opened the door to be an ambassador to a charity, that led her to charitable work abroad where she had the opportunity to meet film stars from the country. This led to her being asked to feature in a film. All because she said Yes!

She said Yes to my charity when she was invited to speak. I found out at the end of the day that she came late because she was in the middle of a housing crisis, while juggling full time work and sleeping on a sofa without assurance of where the next night will find her. Yet, she came. Will I ever forget her? Absolutely not!

I am reminded of her story today as I think of my week ahead and the years gone by. I said yes to attend a conference that opened my eyes to personal development and then – the industry got me. I became a growth junkie and I love it. This has opened doors for me to meet the most amazing network of sound people. Unstoppable in the good they are putting out in the world. I said yes, to an invitation to support a friend over 11 years ago and it opened the doors of leadership and growth for me.

As I shared my story with one of my new family members (JMT DNA), I have been asked to attend a recorded session to recount my journey. I sure am looking forward to it. I know it will encourage one or two people sitting on the fence about taking decisions in life. Life is for living and live purposefully. The world is waiting for you to deliver your share of your goodness. Don\’t let fear hold you back. You hold the key!

When the Robber…….

By Busola

How ready are you?

The first time I heard the saying; When the robber hits the road, I automatically pictured a thief being chased from his hiding in a rough uneven road and when he got onto the motorway and was able to run faster. My imagination being active painted a picture for me that explained what I thought I heard. Later I discovered it was not what I thought but the interpretation was close enough.

When the rubber meets the road is purely a case of opportunity meeting preparation. The right environment for the creation of success. We all have goals, dreams, desires, aspirations and wishes. These desires and good things we want for ourselves will forever stay the same, if we do not actively create the environment for them to take off and to survive.

Opportunity is exactly what it is. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, Opportunity is a favorable juncture of circumstances. It is always desired and though sometimes expected, it\’s time frame is usually unpredictable. As much as opportunity is the trigger that creates that success environment, it can be a total waste if there is no preparedness.

How prepared are you for your next opportunity. How ready are you to take off, Are you still unclear of the path to take or even why you are here. For some people, it is an issue of identity while it is purpose or the plan for others. It could be business or personal. The bottom line is the fact that you need to understand the why and the process.

Since getting clarity on the saying; when the rubber meets the road, my imagination is better fed to deliver a brand new set of wheels on a sound engine, about to take off on a long journey to a dream destination. The engine is revved up, the weather is good, the road is clear. The booth has spares and supplies for the trip. It is definitely not going to be a crawl. It is a well earned trip of, Legacy, Impact, Freedom and Empowerment. It is a LIFE sentence.

Above all, it is not the robber; it is the RUBBER.

\"\" — We are the product of our daily choices

Busola Shogbamimu is an independent life coach with The John Maxwell Team. She is passionate about self identity leading to self-actualization. She helps individuals and organisations develop their personnel towards unifying their corporate goals. Her empowerment slogan is #yhtk (You hold the key).

Who\’s coming along?

By Busola

It has indeed been a while since I did a blog post and I sure did miss sharing my thoughts here. Time spent doing other things was worthwhile and valued, but I am glad to be back.

Over the weekend, I was privileged to attend a follow up support call on a training program that I took. The host took his time to explain and gave so much value on the call. Then came the questions and answer session, and another phase of learning from other people\’s perspectives emerged. What blew me away was the patience, time and thought that went into answering everyone\’s questions. Even though we went over time, the motive of the host was without doubt; no-one must be left behind.

That definitely got me thinking. In our journey of life, who are we carrying along when we are going places? When the prospect is promising, who are we calling to view the other side? What kind of a traveller are we? Are you a solo- artist or you understand the power of two or more?

As the world gets smaller, systems are taking over in automation and fast tracking success. The importance of collaboration, team work, partnership, scaling and compounding is showing up more evidently in business and networking systems. Who are you carrying along? As that may be a wrong question for some people, I will ask then again; who are you going with?

I will leave the thoughts with you to process as I go pull my boat out for my own journey. You are more than welcome to come along my journey.

Peace maker or Pace maker

By Busola

In a world where arguments, broken homes and relationships is the order of the day, there is a greater need and urgency for solution providers before things escalate. What difference would it be to have water poured over the fire spark before it becomes a full blown blaze.

For as long as we are not a clone of ourselves, we are bound to have differing opinion on anything and everything. To see things from the same point of view is a blessing that should not be taken for granted. Why then should we allow resentments, anger, discord, and other negative emotions to build up to destroy us, when we can intentionally try and find a common ground.

Purposing to be the peace maker in a relationship does not mean you are laying yourself as a door mat. It means you are willing to listen, try and understand the other person\’s perspectives without bias to your own thoughts and emotions. Also trying to see the underlying and unspoken reason that could make them hold such a stance. Then trying to reach a common ground.

Watch the video below and think of how damaging small unresolved issues can lead to full blown destruction of human lives.

When peace is truly out the window, healing of the heart is often required. Whether it is in form of the physical pacemaker being attached to the human body, or human equivalent by way of; family, friends, society etc. Let\’s all work on being the peacemaker and the peace keeper, instead of the pacemaker. #YHTK

Ready, Fire, AIM!

By Busola

The first time I heard the expression, I thought to myself; that cannot be right. How can you prepare for a thing, execute it and then position yourself? Should you not get ready first, aim and then fire? We are used to being told to get ready when opportunity comes knocking. We are familiar with opportunity meeting preparedness to create success.

\”Opportunity and preparedness is the love relationship for success\”
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In recent times, I have come to appreciate the concept of ready, fire and aim. We can never be fully ready for anything because nothing is perfect. There will always be an opportunity to fine tune it and ease the creases around the corners. The color is always going to need tweaking and the angle rotated left and right. There is always a thing to add on to make that project better than its current state.

What about failing forward?

Think of the fact that the so called professionals are still failing at every step of improvement. The only difference is they took the very first step, knowing that it was not perfect. What then are you waiting for? Do what you have to do by failing in the positive direction. Be prepared by planning and then just do it. Get yourself up from the result and dust up to position yourself again in the right direction.

I am hoping the message is getting clearer with every word. Get ready, fire! then aim. You hold the key #YHTK

Contentment Vs Self-Actualization

By Busola

\"\" — Happiness is being conscious that #YHTK

One of the most inspiring videos I have had the opportunity to come across tells the story of a contented woman. I watched this video at a time when the world was in chaos and world leaders could barely sleep. Families were dying all over the globe and death toll on a daily basis was the highlight of media channels.

The same time was described as unprecedented and even as I write today, countries are still trying to contain the virus activated life style that we all currently live. Yet, for the few people who could see beyond the chaos, they celebrated that they were part of history. It was famine and rationing in most places and most homes. However, this video caused me to cry tears of joy. The woman\’s joy was authentic. What she had and celebrated, most rich and famous people could never get, even if they exchanged all their wealth for it.

This brought me to the question of fulfillment, contentment and self-actualization. She was without any shadow of doubt, contented and most definitely on the path to self actualization. She was realistic, optimistic and open handed to welcome people to her home .If fulfillment is the definition of achievement of something desired, then I cannot honestly answer for her if she is fulfilled or not. She alone will be able to say what her aspirations are and if they are met or not. I leave you to decide after watching the video to share your thoughts below.

Proof that you may have nothing, yet be contented and happy

No matter what the day presents, my message for you today is simple. Enjoy the journey and smell the roses as you go. If you can\’t see the roses, take in the fresh air and be grateful that you can inhale and exhale. People on ventilators are struggling to do just that. Laugh daily, find your purpose and live without apology for who you are. Be true to yourself – that is one thing you should not compromise. Be your authentic self, it is too hard being a clone of someone else or a copy. It is better to be a bad original than a good copy.

Be intentional about your happiness and about being the difference you want to see in society. Embrace change, be open to ideas. Keep a gratitude journal as you consciously count your blessings. Accept what you cannot change and change what you can. Be deliberate about redesigning a better version of yourself on a daily basis. Live life as best as you can today, tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Your reason being #YHTK (You hold the key). The difference lies in purpose and living it through.

From Whispers To Statutes

By Busola

\"\" — Women gossip; Gossip for change Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Look around you and they are everywhere. Some prominent and others are seen as insignificant. Our personalities are different, yet we all carry the same power. Some louder than others to no effect, while others are soft and gentle like the rudder of a ship, yet they steer the massive vessel to its destination.

It breaks my heart when I read of women short changing themselves in any relationship. Be it spousal, friendship, work or any relationship. I believe strongly in the power of a woman to change the world. I believe strongly in our power to change destinies. Created to be carriers and incubators, whether we have biological children or not, we are carriers and shapers of destinies.

Right from conception, words spoken to the unborn baby is already preparing the destiny of that child. Words used daily in whispers is creating the nurturing environment for a healthy, emotionally balanced individual. Words used in correcting the toddler will either shape him or break him. The power to build destinies lies in the woman\’s hands.

A well raised son understands it is important to treat women well and will never raise his hands to a woman. He stands up to defend the causes of the weak in society. He ensures resources are distributed fairly and will not be just all about himself.

A well raised daughter also understands the importance of self respect, dignity and fairness for her husband and her household. She carries herself with humility and respect. Her head is held high and her ears open to listen, while her hands and legs are ready to run the race to help others.

The innate power of every woman to design and change the story of humanity begins from baby whispers, classroom whispers, table whispers, bedroom whispers and every opportunity to whisper. It also ends in statutes.

Women gossip and men discuss they say. Women gossiping changed the case of child marriage into an abolished practice in a particular country. I challenge you as a woman today to make your gossip session one that promotes positive change in society. Give the men something to discuss to build a better tomorrow for the next generation.

After all #YHTK. Be a game changer for your generation today with a globally resounding whisper.

Scars and Medals

By Busola

One of the quotes I am crazy about in recent times is attributed to Winston Churchill and it says \”if you are going through hell, keep going.\” Every leader knows that there are times when quitting seems to be very attractive, yet it is not an option. Always stop to consider all the shift that has gone before and the medal awaiting you at the goal post.

Life was never a promise of hunky dory and smooth sailing. The times when we acquire the burns, scratches and scars are truly our defining moments. The medal at the end of the race is desirable and it fuels the drive to keep going. No matter what we are faced with on a daily basis, let\’s keep going as It never truly ends until the last breath.

Do you have scars from yesteryears to look back on, reminding you that the struggle was real? If you are here today, then you walked through your previous hell and you will do it again and again. Winners don\’t quit and quitters don\’t win they say. If you did it before, sure you can do it again.

All you need to carry on is tackle one day at a time and an attitude of gratitude. It does not matter how big the mess is, start by handling what you can and this too shall pass! #YHTK (You hold the key).

How to live a worry free life

By Busola

\"\" — Worry, just like stress does not produce any positive result for your well being.

Looking around you currently with the state of the global economy, the demands on the global health system, the unpredictable nature of the future; Are you thinking of the thin line between managing existing limited resources and poverty threshold? or unsure of where the next income stream is going to come from. Are you stressing about the many bills and people you still need to support? If so, you sure do have enough reasons to worry today.

Some people do not need all or some of the above before they worry. They are born worriers. They worry about the shape of the teabag, the colour of the soup, the middle name of their son\’s class teacher, why there are only six waffles in a pack, the look on the post man\’s face, people that greet or acknowledge them and the ones that ignore them. Simply put, they always have a reason to worry about something or the other.

On the other hand, some people float through life effortlessly like the world was made for them to skip through every hurdle. Do they have any problem? Sure they do! The difference being that they have taken a decision about the role of worry in their lives.

Who has worry helped?

Worrying has never been known to help anyone or solve a problem. Not one! What worry does is magnify the problem for you, create anxiety and fear. Fear paralyses you. Fear blocks you from seeing any possible solution. Fear eats you up and releases negative toxins in your body, thereby causing further ailments and diseases in the body.
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How then do you handle worry?

I have always been accused of sauntering through life like I have no problem. What people fail to understand is the fact that I do not entertain fear, worry or anxiety. I have learnt to live my worry free life by doing four simple things – PTCD.

Pray: As a believer in Christ and the holy trinity. I take all my worries to God in prayer as my no. 1 port of call. Being a person of faith and having lived my life like this with positive results for over 5 decades has taught me to pray with an expectant heart for a positive result. Part of praying includes being thankful for previous victories with a heart of gratitude and also for eternal access to God himself through Christ Jesus.

Trust: For me to trust means there has been proven track record of success. I believe whatever the outcome of the current situation, even if it is not what I am expecting, it will work to my advantage. So I become open minded towards the result.

Cast: I transfer the problem to God to sort out. No, I do not bury my head in the sand and ignore that I have an issue to deal with. Remember, that I have prayed to someone I trust to sort it out for me. Just like if you have a broken car, you take it to your trusted mechanic; you expect him to call you to let you know the job is complete and if there\’s any part that needs to be added to the car, he will let you know. (I don\’t worry about the process the mechanic takes in getting the car ready. That is his job). That is just how it works when you cast your cares.

Do: Next step is to take action. Once you have done all the above, you have a clearer vision of what your next step of action will be. Whatever step you take will get to the end of the problem, no matter how fast or long it takes. The main thing at that point in time is that you are not stressed or anxious about it. You are taking action.

Takeaway

What you need to know now is that; Worry never added a positive thing to your situation. Worry takes away from you. You can be worry free even if the world around you is collapsing by practicing: Pray- Trust- Cast – Do. Remembering always that #YHTK (You hold the Key)

see www.amazon.co.uk/author/busolashogbamimu for more books by busolashogbamimu

Quarantined moms

By Busola

Nothing equates a mother\’s love
Photo by Nicholas Githiri on Pexels.com

It\’s Mother\’s day 2020 and for the first time in many years, most moms are staying at home. No restaurant treat, no church services, schools closed, limited shopping, rationing and no work. A totally unprecedented event in most people\’s life for this generation. The Corona virus pandemic has brought families together more than any other event. Every problem has lots of positive angles, it all depends on where we are looking at it. This year, it\’s all about family and togetherness.

It\’s mother\’s day today and a time to celebrate all women in hibernation. All women under the duvet. All women tending to the welfare of the next generation, All women in hospitals healing and helping the sick. All women at the war front, both civil and domestic. All women kept physically and emotionally.

A woman\’s role is beyond description. Once a baby with no clue of what the world holds, she grows up into a girl with lofty dreams and then a woman of vision. Yet she sets all that aside for a full time job of patiently listening, praying, believing, encouraging, laughing, celebrating, forgiving, understanding, fighting, overlooking and consistently meeting the needs of her family.

Her pride, her goals, her sleep, her dreams, her life and her all are usually always on the back burner. I am a woman. I am proudly a black woman. I celebrate myself together with all my sisters all over the world in every race and ethnicity. Though quarantined globally, we continue to fulfill our roles as destiny shapers to all our children and partners.

You are a Mom as long as you reproduce yourself through mentoring, fostering, adoption, leadership and by giving the best of yourself to the people in your world and leaving a mark for the next generation. Happy Mother\’s day to all women of vision, purpose and dreams. Happy Mother\’s day to all Quarantined moms.