How to get the house and more in an abusive relationship

pexels-photo-932402.jpegWhen you hear stories of women that were abused and then pushed out of their matrimonial or shared homes, you often wonder that how did the man get away with it.  Sometimes, the man is not the guilty party but his family will push the woman and her children out of the house with next to nothing.

Thankfully, society is becoming more enlightened and women wiser.  When a woman is fully dependent on a man, she has to a large extent mortgaged a portion of her freedom of expression and her life to that man. If you have to wait on a man to constantly give you money before you are able to make any purchase including your sanitary materials, then you have big problems lurking in the corners of your wardrobe.  Unless you are cognizant of the fact that you are adding value to the man’s life by taking responsibility for areas where he is not able to in the home.  In which case, your time value is recognized in the home.  Simply put You need to be adding value somewhere.

In any relationship, even if you cannot work, make sure you are educated financially and you always have your financial plan B at your finger tip. If you unfortunately find yourself in an abusive relationship, be it physical or emotional.  Execute your plan B to perfection and  move on.

No one plans for a failed relationship from the get go, but it happens more these days than before, so planning ahead is now essential.  When it happens, it is not the end of the world.  Dust your frame and your heart and move on.

Plan A: (starts at the end of the relationship)

To stay there and suffer, hoping there will be a change of behavior from your partner. (hardly ever, ask those who did it in the past, > 5% success rate)

Plan B: (starts with the onset of the  relationship)

  • Always be financially savvy and learn to have a savings and investment portfolio.
  • Join a credit society and do regular savings, no matter how little.
  • Keep friends around you who know how to invest successfully in real estate.
  • Have an unbiased family solicitor that can advise in both your interests.
  • Buy a house or build one, rent it out for income even if you are not living in it.
  • Whenever sh*t hits the roof, you have your house and your dignity and a kitty of savings to fall back on.
  • Count your losses and start again

You hold the key!

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