I take a break from sharing my late friend’s post to write about something that touches my heart. Something I have found is a lifetime learning course.

As a parent of three lovely teenagers, I find that I often expect them to behave in same manner as children of the same household, raised with same values, certain expectation of variances as a result of individual personalities. However, I recently realize that I have fallen into the same trap as my dad. Something which I vowed to watch out for, never to do to my kids.

I have great desire for them all to be successful, and I am doing my bit as a parent the best way to push them to excel in their academics. I focus on individual strengths and passion. My dad made the mistake of pushing me to be a science student when clearly there was no atom or chemical inclination in my bones or brains, save for whatever was keeping me alive. I rebelled and became my own person, making my choices and vowing to let my children be themselves, working in their own strengths and not my desire of a career path for them.

My emphasis however was the basic education as a starting point. Recently, I find myself at a wall until I had an eye opening session two days ago. My youngest, who I push the most and find a bit more laid back than his siblings, is very artistic.  He came home with an art assignment and I watched him as he was so devoted and focused, listening to his music in the background and working away with such peace and passion, that I was always looking for in his other subjects. I kept cooking as he continued working at the kitchen table.

The next morning, the answer dropped in the shower (where I get most of my revelations). The eldest is a verbal learner, the second a logical learner and the youngest a visual learner.  He is a different person in himself, total and complete.  What he needs to be able to be who he needs to be is fully in him. The patience required in an artist cannot be expected in a media person. Why then have I placed such an expectation and burden in pressuring my child?

Ignorance! Since I realized this, I have taken a back step. I am positively encouraging and avoiding criticism, yet building confidence and a sense of can do in my child. I have done a bit of research as well and found affirmation of my conviction. I include the link to help others who may be in similar shoes, just to create awareness of the importance of knowing our children for who they are and how to be better parents to get them to their place of success. The one thing we do not need is frustrating them which can lead to low moral esteem, frustration, depression and in extreme cases suicide.

Here, also are some questions you can do as a family game to better find out about your children and reverse same for them to find out more about you. A very positive  and memorable family time activity guaranteed to improve communication.

ThAT’s JuSt THe WaY It iS

Queen B

 

 

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